Sample Analytical Paragraph and Peer Revision

Here is the sample paragraph that I showed you in class. This is what a well-organized analytical paragraph should look like. Take note of the ratio of purple to blue. That is, the quotes are short and the explanation is longer. Rarely do you need to insert long quotes to make your point. Shorter more concise sections of the text are often more effective.

1/3 of your paragraph = Illustration/Qutoe and 2/3 = Explanation/Analysis.

Point: Identify rhetorical elements and introduce the effect on the reader
Illustration: Quotes
Explanation/Analysis : Pull out ideas about how the style of the quote is connected to the theme of the entire novel


McCarthy asserts that the post-apocalyptic world is both literally and figuratively hell on earth, in which evil threatens to overtake any remaining goodness in the world. He begins literally by vividly describing the entire country as being “looted, ransacked and ravaged. Rifled of every crumb.” McCarthy’s precise diction creates the picture of utter destitution, of a barren landscape that has been robbed by circumstance and humanity of its life-sustaining properties. Additionally, McCarthy’s metaphoric comparison of night to “casket black” suggests that the entire world is a tomb. The boy and the man are the occupants, struggling to push open the door of the casket in order to see light, to maintain hope. Finally, in crafting this picture of hell on earth, McCarthy draws the comparison, through simile, that the world is “like a dawn before the battle.” The word “battle” implies that the boy and dad must fight everyday to scavenge for scarce resources and to fight off would-be attackers. Yet, more importantly, this day’s battle, like the sun rising at “dawn,” is part of a larger symbolic war in which survival represents a triumph of humanity and perseverance in a world that has become a living hell.


Peer Revision:

Reread the passages.
1. Does the topic assert an idea or simply restate plot? Label this with IDEA or PLOT. How might the writer improve this?
2. Try to label the parts of the paragraph. T PIE PIE C. If something is missing, let the writer know. ( Missing a Point here or Where is you Illustration?)
3. Put a box around everything that you consider to be explanation. Look for:
a. identification of literary device
b. explanation of the effect
c. connections to larger ideas and themes in the text.
4. Look at the ratio of Illustration to Evidence. This should be a 1/3 to 2/3 ratio. Write in the margin the writers ratio of Illustration to Evidence. Where do they need more or less?
5. Write a least two comments about the explanation portion of the paragraph. (Needs more discussion of effect or Good identification of devices, but how does this connect to theme?)
6. At the bottom, offer an overall comment. Identify a strength in the paragraph and suggest one area for the writer to improve upon.
7. Sign this with you name.

Revise this paragraph based on the comments you received, type in Times New Roman, 12pt font, double-spaced for tomorrow.

Rhetorical Devices and Literary Strategies

If as we were reading those passages today in class, you were having trouble naming the stylistic elements you were seeing in McCarthy's writing, check out the link below. Having the proper names for things is powerful. It makes you smarter and more articulate and improves your ability analyze and synthesize.

Ms. Roehl wrote this on her blog:

"Strong writers master the art of rhetoric. Literary devices are a subset of rhetoric. Strong writers are able to incorporate elements of rhetoric in their own writing, and reading. Analyzing literature for elements of rhetoric is an important step on your path to strong writing."

I couldn't agree more.


Click here to review a comprehensive list of literary devices and rhetorical elements.

Close Reading and Paragraph

Goals:
Close reading can and should promote insights and questions about texts beyond the specific passage under consideration. Close reading should develop your ability to:
1) Identify specific rhetorical elements and literary strategies within a short passage.
2) Consider the effect these techniques have on a reader’s perception of tone and content.
3) Explain ideas about how the style of the entire text is connected to the content and theme of the entire text. These deep explanations are what is missing in your E's of your PIEs.

The Passage - As a class:“He found pieces of flint or chert in a ditch but in the end it was easier to rake the pliers down the side of a rock at the bottom of which he’d made a small pile of tinder soaked in gas. Two more days. Then three. They were starving right enough. The country was looted, ransacked, ravaged. Rifled of every crumb. The nights were blinding cold and casket black and the long reach of the morning had a terrible silence to it. Like a dawn before battle. The boy’s candlecolored skin was all but translucent. With his great staring eyes he’d the look of an alien” (129).

1. Underline any word, phrase, or line that jumps out at you, even if you’re not sure why. Think about sound, diction, anything that even suggests style, whether you can put a name to what’s going on or not.
2. With a partner, see how many of your underlined words or phrases you can label. If you don’t know the actual name of the technique, or if you aren’t certain, describe the effect as best you can. Write your ideas in the margin.
3. Make a thematic connection to the underlined words or phrases. How does this stylistic element add to the text as a whole? Reflect not just on the element, but on the whole text—how are they related?


Homework - Try it again with one of the following passages. Please recreate the chart from the handout in your notebook. The three columns should be labeled (Text / Effect / Reflection or Connection).

“They scrabbled through the charred ruins of houses they would not have entered before. A corpse floating in the black water of a basement among the trash and rusting ductwork. He stood in a living room partly burned and open to the sky. The waterbuckled boards sloping away into the yard. Soggy volumes in a bookcase. He took one down and opened it and then put it back. Everything damp. Rotting. In a drawer he found a candle. No way to light it. He put it in his pocket. He walked out in the gray light and stood and he saw for a brief moment the absolute truth of the world. The cold relentless circling of the intestate earth. Darkness implacable. The blind dogs of the sun in their running. The crushing black vacuum of the universe. And somewhere two hunted animals trembling like groundfoxes in their cover. Borrowed time and borrowed world and borrowed eyes with which to sorrow it” (130).

“When he woke again he thought the rain had stopped. But that wasnt what woke him. He’d been visited in a dream by creatures of a kind he’d never seen before. They did not speak. He thought that they’d been crouching by the side of his cot as he slept and then had skulked away on his awakening. He turned and looked at the boy. Maybe he understood for the first time that to the boy he was himself an alien. A being from a planet that no longer existed. The tales of which were suspect. He could not construct for the child’s pleasure the world he’d lost without constructing the loss as well and he thought perhaps the child had known this better than he. He tried to remember the dream but he could not. All that was left was the feeling of it. He thought perhaps they’d come to warn him. Of what? That he could not enkindle in the heart of the child what was ashes in his own. Even now some part of him wished they’d never found this refuge. Some part of him always wished it to be over” (154).

For the second passage that you selected, write a paragraph in which you sum up how the style of the passage is instrumental in conveying the idea of the text as a whole. Use all the good work you did marking up the paragraph and filling in the chart as the basis for your paragraph.

Remember to follow the following format:
Topic Sentence - asserts the main idea of the paragraph
Point - 1st sub point
Illustration - quote
Explanation - of devices, effects, and connection to big ideas
Point - 2nd sub point
Illustration - quote
Explanation - of devices, effects, and connection to big ideas
Conclusion

Ely and Elijah - Biblical Allusion in The Road

Did you know?

The prophet Elijah is the harbinger of the apocalypse — the “great and terrible day of the Lord.”

harbinger = a person or thing that foreshadows or predicts something (A robin is a harbinger of spring)

“According to the Books of Kings, Elijah raised the dead, brought fire down from the sky, and ascended into heaven in a chariot. In the Book of Malachi, Elijah's return is prophesied "before the coming of the great and terrible day of the Lord,"[2] making him a harbinger of the Messiah and the eschaton in various faiths that revere the Hebrew Bible.”

eschaton = Eschaton means judgement day or end of the world.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elijah

Cormac McCarthy, you're so cool. Thanks for this, Ms. Hatten.

The Road and "Transformation" Vocabulary

Here are the vocabulary words you will be responsible for learning before the quiz on November 5th. If you missed class today, ask me about the Vocab 4-square when you return.

I've also included a bit of information about the Flocabulary book and music we have been listening to in class:

"The Flocabulary series book defines five hundred SAT-level words in eleven
songs (roughly forty-five per song).

Flocabulary fuses hip-hop music with vocabulary words and their definitions to
make learning vocabulary easy and engaging.

Flocabulary is mnemonic-laced rap music. Rap music is so easy to memorize
in itself because it is based in rhyming, and using rhyme is one of the most
effective memorization strategies. Just think about it: how many songs do you
have memorized?"


Excerpted from www.flocabulary.com

The Road Vocabulary

fable (fabulist) (3)
apparition (apparitional) (9)
uncanny (18)
feral (52)
meager (60)
entity (88)
retract (120)*
apocalypse (apocalyptic) (155)
fey (187)
grotto (189)
myriad (219)
stagnant (224)
ominous (229)
derelict (276)
* Appears on previous list


"Transformation" Vocabulary

myopic
rationcinate
render
recapitualte
loquacious
verbose
gregarious
elocution
cicumlocution
recalcitrant
cogent
seminal
meritorious
redact
placate
tedious

Lyrics from the "Transformation" Rap:

The transformation of bookworms
into hip-hop icons,
a dictionary and a microphone,
a dictionary and a mic.
x2

Now this here’s a story for
the fellows and ladies,
sporting pocket protectors and
socket inspectors and marking their vectors, glasses thick,
they’re myopic, short-sighted,
they can’t see the crumbs on their lips.
They don’t say the word think,
they say “ratiocinate.”
They don’t render “repeat,”
they say “recapitulate.”
When they speak they’re
wordy and loquacious,
verbose and gregarious,
so many words it’s hilarious.
They study elocution,
the art of public speaking,
but they talk in circumlocutions,
indirect language.
They’re recalcitrant,
defiant and unapologetic.
Write an essay on
Shakespeare for extra-credit.
So cogent and smart
that it changes the field,
it’s seminal and original.
Their meritorious work always deserves merit,
they revise and redact their papers, they edit.
They placate their parents,
soothe them out,
by always getting good grades
and never leaving the house.
To them homework is never tedious,
dull and boring, they’re never snoring or yawning
they’re working evening and morning.

Video Clips for "A Song on the End of the World"

We discussed Milosz poem on Friday, based on a purely textual reading. Now consider it from an historical perspective. It was written in Warsaw in 1944.

To watch a visual retelling of the poem that concentrates on images, click on the following link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMObij-VTmA

To see a video of the poem being read over some haunting images, click on the following link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GioXyvUnyJc

Questions to consider:

What was happening in the world at that time?

Why might Milosz have been so concerned about the end of the world based on historical events?

Thinking historically, what is the significance of the line, "No one believes it is happening now"?

Do you think more or less of the poem when you consider it from an historical perspective? Explain.

What effect does this sight and sound imagery in the video have upon your understanding of the poem?

Does the video offer an accurate interpretation ? What lines in the poem provide evidence of this?

What images would you select if you were going to make a similar video?

Create a Blog Post:

Create a blog post that answers at least one of the above questions. Or pose your own question and attempt to answer it. Do not just repeat what has already been offered. Try to say something original. The best responses will offer textual support in the form of a quote. Be sure to tell us your first name and hour. Please post by Wednesday, October 27th at midnight.

A Song on the End of the World

Here is the text we engaged with for our "Fun Friday" activities in English 10.
If you did not have a chance to finish the closing questions, remember to answer them thoughtfully and thoroughly for Monday.

A Song on the End of the World

by Czelaw Milosz
Translation by Antony Milosz

On the day the world ends
A bee circles a clover,
A fisherman mends a glimmering net.
Happy porpoises jump in the sea,
By the rainspout young sparrows are playing
And the snake is gold-skinned as it should always be.

On the day the world ends
Women walk through the fields under their umbrellas,
A drunkard grows sleepy at the edge of a lawn,
Vegetable peddlers shout in the street
And a yellow-sailed boat comes nearer the island,
The voice of a violin lasts in the airAnd leads into a starry night.

And those who expected lightning and thunder
Are disappointed.
And those who expected signs and archangels’ trumps
Do not believe it is happening now.
As long as the sun and the moon are above,
As long as the bumblebee visits a rose,
As long as rosy infants are born
No one believes it is happening now.

Only a white-haired old man, who would be a prophet
Yet is not a prophet, for he’s much too busy,
Repeats while he binds his tomatoes:
No other end of the world will there be,
No other end of the world will there be.

Denotations
•Write definitions of words next to these words, on the poem:

•Peddlers = sellers
•Archangels = high ranking angels
•Trumps = trumpets
•Prophet is someone who 1) speaks to god, 2) has moral insight, or 3) predicts the future
•Binds = ties


Read and Annotate
Read poem silently or aloud toyourself while annotating (making margin notes) :

1.Imagery = descriptive language that appeals to senses of smell, sight, taste, touch and sound. Underline words or phrases that appeal to the senses. Make a note about why your selections were interesting or notable. What is the effect of this imagery?
2.What is the mood or feeling of the poem? How do you know? What lines support that?
3.What is the tone or author’s attitude toward subject? What lines support your idea?
4.What is ironic about the poem? Irony = contradicts what is expected
5.Create a title for each stanza.

Closing Questions
1.What is Milosz message to us about the end of the world?
2.What would McCarthy say to Milosz about the end of the world?
3. Which one has it right? Why do you say this?

The Road Reading Calendar

The date indicates the due date for the reading selection. Be prepared for discussion or a quiz.

Oct 20: pgs 3-27

Oct 21: pgs 28-mid 52

Oct 22: pgs bot 52-mid 77

Oct 23: pgs bot 77-102

Oct 26: pgs 103-top 129

Oct 27: pgs mid 129-top 161

Oct 28: pgs 161-mid 180

Oct 29: pgs bot 180-204

Oct 30: pgs 205-top 231

Nov 2: pgs mid 231-256

Nov 3: pgs 257-287

“On this road there are no godspoke men. They are gone and I am left and they have taken with them the world. Query: how does the never to be differ from what never was?”

MEA Weekend Homework

Enjoy the long weekend. Take some time to rest and relax, especially if you are one of those who has been battling the flu.

Also, remember to study your vocab.

2nd hour posted an impressive 55 seconds for "I have, who has". Keep reviewing those definitions.

3rd hour - A little rest and some studying, you'll be ready to go after break.

4th hour - I found a few words on the floor that never got distributed, OOPS! So, we'll give it a whirl again after break.

The vocab quiz is on Tuesday, October 20th.

Do take advantage of the Extra Credit Opportunity for Siddhartha. Take some time to explore and express a few of your ideas about this text. Practice the PIE technique. Stretch your brain, improve your writing, and earn a few extra credit points. A win-win situation. Those points may seem small, but they can have a big impact on your grade.

We will see you in a few.

Insightful Quotes

For tomorrow you will be finishing the novel Siddhartha. Please come to class with 2 insightful quotes written in your notebook. That is, find a quote from the first half of the novel and a quote from the second half of the novel that offers insight into an important character, plot event, topic, or symbol. Write these down in your notebook. I forgot to mention this to hours 3 and 4, so we'll see who is checking this blog regularly. We will use these to begin our final discussion about the text. See you tomorrow.

Siddhartha Extra Credit Opportunity

For your second extra credit opportunity of the quarter, consider writing a detailed and well-organized paragraph on Siddhartha that answers one of the prompts below. The paragraph is worth up to five points, and although you may not think that five points is a lot, it really does help your grade. If you are also completing "The Overcoat" extra credit, due this Tuesday, those 10 points would really boost your grade.

Typed paragraphs in MLA formatting are due by Friday, October 23. ( Ms. Benson's Birthday!) Remember that a paragraph should have at least two PIEs, and make sure your points, illustrations and explanations prove your topic sentence (which is basically your thesis). Remember that direct quotations are the best illustrations for your analytical points. These paragraphs should draw upon the good ideas and quotations that have been offered in class. Make sure that all of your sentences include active verbs, descriptive adjectives, and clarifying phrases. Create interest through your word choice and sentence structure.

Paragraph Prompts (Choose One)

1. Discuss the influence of Vasudeva on Siddhartha’s life.
2. Discuss the influence of Siddartha's son on Siddhartha’s life.
3. Discuss a thematic aspect of searching as it is found in Siddhartha.
4. Discuss Hermann Hesse’s success in teaching concepts of Buddhism in the novel Siddhartha.
5. Discuss Hermann Hesse’s success in teaching concepts of Hinduism in the novel Siddhartha.
6. Discuss a thematic aspect of learning or education as it is found in Siddhartha.

Siddhartha Vocabulary

In case you missed these in class here are the vocabulary words for Siddhartha..

Final test on Siddhartha: October 14th
Vocabulary Test: October 20th

vocation (4)

orator (oration) (4)

atone (atonement) (5)

ascetic (9)

austere (18)

ostracize (45)

prudent (63)

compel (66)

desolate (desolation) (66)

concede (70)

formidable (79)

permeate (94)

diligent (95)

carouse (97)

benevolence (147)

Hinduism and Buddhism Terms

Your homework for Monday, in addtion to reading Chapters 9 and 10 in Siddhartha, is to complete the Hinduism and Buddhism sheet. Here are the directions:

1. Define the term.
2. Offer a quote that shows evidence of this element in the text.
3. Write a detailed and interesting sentence that explains the significance of the quote. Don't just retell plot. Try instead to offer insight or clarifiy an idea. Use strong verbs and adjectives like you did with your sentence stretchers.

Enjoy the weekend. Thanks for another great week of ideas and energy.


Hindu Terms


Meditation


Dharma


Brahmin


Samsara


Om


Atman/Brahman



Buddhist Terms


Four Noble Truths



Eightfold Noble Path



Nirvana / Enlightenment


Historical Buddha (Sakyamuni)


Dharma


Karma

Verb Taxonomies and Sentence Stretchers

I really enjoyed the energy in the classroom today. I liked that some of you were pouring over your words, sifting through verbs of locomotion and verbs of thought/action to find precisely the right word to describe the characters in the novel. Remember to apply this same level of care to your essay writing. Taking the time to choose just the right verb and the most accurate adjective will make all of your sentences do more work.

Now that we've created these word banks, I know that you have the ability and resources to describe more accurately what it is that you are thinking about the books that we read. Don't let yourself be satisified with stale, boring or plain words; work to incorporate the succulent, delicious, and juicy details. This makes for much livlier, imaginative and interesting discussions.

Sentence Stretchers Format:

When, determiner, adjective, subject, verb of locomotion or vocalization/thought, adverb, where.

Here are a few creative Animal Sentence Stretchers from today:

On Christmas, a herd of tipsy koalas slaughtered quietly in dJibouti.

At 5:23 and 36 seconds in the morning, a herd of delicious manatees primped sluggishly in Atlantis.

One dark and stormy night, a million dirty water buffalo frolicked joyfully in the microwave.

Four years into the future, a murder of drop dead gorgeous platapus pranced amazingly on the planet of some awesome sauce.



Here are a few detailed and insightful Siddhartha Sentence Stretchers from today:

For years, the young Siddhartha searched diligently for salvation.

After his meal, a patient Gotama conversed lovingly in the woods.

Before Christ, a group os acestic Samanas starved painfully in the forest.

A long time ago, an independent and confident Govinda detached reluctantly from Siddhartha.

Everyday, a young serious Siddhartha evaluated cautiously his future.

After enlightenment, the loyal Govinda embraces openly the teachings of Buddha.

Siddhartha Reading Calendar

Here are a few reasons why you should care about Siddhartha:

1. Reading about him improves your knowledge and cultural literacy about world religions like Hinduism and Bhuddism.
2. He is a dude who is searching for more in life. He wants to move beyond all of the worldly trappings of jealousy, lust, and greed to find ultimate inner-peace. Sounds nice, right?
3. Siddhartha's quest is a classic story of discovery. It is one that is patterned after the Odyssey. Knowing his story helps us to better understand the single monomyth that is told and retold throughout different times and different cultures. Think about Gladiator, Star Wars, Finding Nemo, Siddhartha; these are all the same basic quest stories.

Reading Schedule

The date indicates the due date for the reading selection. Be prepared for discussion or a quiz.

Oct 6: Chapters 1 & 2
Oct 7: Chapters 3 & 4
Oct 8: Chapters 5 & 6
Oct 9: Chapters 7 & 8
Oct 12: Chapters 9 & 10
Oct 13: Chapters 11 & 12

October 13: Vocabulary Test
October 14: Final Test

"Nothing was, nothing will be, everything has reality and presence."