Sample Analytical Paragraph and Peer Revision

Here is the sample paragraph that I showed you in class. This is what a well-organized analytical paragraph should look like. Take note of the ratio of purple to blue. That is, the quotes are short and the explanation is longer. Rarely do you need to insert long quotes to make your point. Shorter more concise sections of the text are often more effective.

1/3 of your paragraph = Illustration/Qutoe and 2/3 = Explanation/Analysis.

Point: Identify rhetorical elements and introduce the effect on the reader
Illustration: Quotes
Explanation/Analysis : Pull out ideas about how the style of the quote is connected to the theme of the entire novel


McCarthy asserts that the post-apocalyptic world is both literally and figuratively hell on earth, in which evil threatens to overtake any remaining goodness in the world. He begins literally by vividly describing the entire country as being “looted, ransacked and ravaged. Rifled of every crumb.” McCarthy’s precise diction creates the picture of utter destitution, of a barren landscape that has been robbed by circumstance and humanity of its life-sustaining properties. Additionally, McCarthy’s metaphoric comparison of night to “casket black” suggests that the entire world is a tomb. The boy and the man are the occupants, struggling to push open the door of the casket in order to see light, to maintain hope. Finally, in crafting this picture of hell on earth, McCarthy draws the comparison, through simile, that the world is “like a dawn before the battle.” The word “battle” implies that the boy and dad must fight everyday to scavenge for scarce resources and to fight off would-be attackers. Yet, more importantly, this day’s battle, like the sun rising at “dawn,” is part of a larger symbolic war in which survival represents a triumph of humanity and perseverance in a world that has become a living hell.


Peer Revision:

Reread the passages.
1. Does the topic assert an idea or simply restate plot? Label this with IDEA or PLOT. How might the writer improve this?
2. Try to label the parts of the paragraph. T PIE PIE C. If something is missing, let the writer know. ( Missing a Point here or Where is you Illustration?)
3. Put a box around everything that you consider to be explanation. Look for:
a. identification of literary device
b. explanation of the effect
c. connections to larger ideas and themes in the text.
4. Look at the ratio of Illustration to Evidence. This should be a 1/3 to 2/3 ratio. Write in the margin the writers ratio of Illustration to Evidence. Where do they need more or less?
5. Write a least two comments about the explanation portion of the paragraph. (Needs more discussion of effect or Good identification of devices, but how does this connect to theme?)
6. At the bottom, offer an overall comment. Identify a strength in the paragraph and suggest one area for the writer to improve upon.
7. Sign this with you name.

Revise this paragraph based on the comments you received, type in Times New Roman, 12pt font, double-spaced for tomorrow.